How To Deal with Rejection

A few months ago I was teaching and training at 3 different gyms. I was constantly on the go and eager at the chance to pick up another class.

I put everything I had into each of those gyms. I connected with the members and structured each class to best meet their needs. When an opportunity to sub or pick up a new class presented itself, I responded immediately, hoping that I was first on the list.

One of those opportunities was to run a small group training class at a big box gym. I couldn’t wait to interview for the position. I felt like the job was ‘made’ for me. I had proven myself to the members at the gym. My classes were challenging, I was able to keep them motivated through the toughest part of the workouts, and I heard time and time again ‘Great class!’

I walked into that interview with great confidence. I was going to ‘own’ this interview and help them grow this new program. Everything was going great until he said, ‘I just don’t think this is going to work because you teach and train at other locations.’

“WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? You are denying me because I work other places?”

I just couldn’t wrap my head around this rejection. It would be one thing if I wasn’t qualified but I was being rejected because I worked other places.

Sometimes rejection is exactly what you need.

Sometimes rejection is exactly what you need.

Side note: You might think that membership rates or personal training fees are high, but believe me, those of us in the fitness industry do what we do because we have a passion for helping people discover a healthier lifestyle – not because of the money.

I was angry, I was hurt, I was disappointed and then I was just done. I gave my notice. If they weren’t going to give me the opportunity to help more people achieve a healthier lifestyle it was time to walk away.

But I walked away bitter. I walked away angry, hurt and disappointed and sad that I wasn’t going to see my front row diva again, or my tall blond who complained but still worked her tail off, or my dear friend who scheduled her workouts just to come to my classes.

Fast forward to now. That rejection was probably the best thing for me. I now realize that I was relying too heavily on established class schedules and not doing enough to personally make connections with those who currently don’t exercise.

My passion for fitness isn’t about making a profit – it’s about being an inspiration to women just like me. I love working out, but I have days that I just want to sleep in. I love the way my body feels when I eat ‘clean’, but I have days that I want a slice of double pepperoni pizza! I have days that I look in the mirror and feel like a rock star, and other days all I see is dark circles under my eyes and a sluggish form.

So I’ve put myself out there. I started recording daily workouts that people can do from home. I don’t love every shot – at times my face looks sour, my midsection looks bloated, my triceps look a little flabby…but it’s me. It’s the real me. The rejected me.

I realize the rejected me is the one that is okay with all of that.

Yes, I have a sour face – working out is hard and I don’t have to smile all the time, I’m putting in effort!

Yes, my midsection isn’t perfect – I’ve had three children. They are far more important than having a defined ‘six pack.’

Yes, my triceps droop – I continue to work on them, but just like my abs, it’s not about perfection in looks – it’s about strength.

So the next time you feel rejected, be empowered and dig deeper into the real you.

Stop Dreading Swimsuit Shopping – Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

Headed to warmer weather tomorrow for a couple days and can’t wait to sit in the pool and relax.

So of course, I wait until the day before we leave to go shop for a swimsuit. As I tried to prep myself for shopping I was battling those awful thoughts…

‘Ugh, after a long winter, your pale skin is going to look terrible no matter what you try on. Actually, who are you kidding, it’s not the pale skin. Swimsuits reveal every flaw you see in yourself. Are you really prepared for this?’

Then, I stopped myself. I was reminded of a recent blog post I wrote about shopping. How could I offer up advice on enjoying shopping and not even follow it myself.

So I thought about why I was going shopping for a swimsuit. I’m headed to hang out with some great friends and relax poolside. There’s nothing I dislike about any of that. So why am I letting what I wear ruin my day?

With a new attitude I headed to the mall.

First stop…nothing. With spring break having passed for most schools in our area the selection was limited.

Second stop…picked up a few options and headed to the dressing room. First the top was too small, then the bottoms weren’t a flattering cut. But I didn’t get frustrated or upset. These suits weren’t right for me but I would find one.

On to the third stop. Again some options and then I saw it. Could I pull it off? It was worth a try. And I’m glad I did. Granted, it was a little more expensive than what I would normally spend, but it was definitely a YES!

I’m constantly challenging my comfort zone level to share my personal struggles with you. I share them because I want you to know that I understand the challenges of healthy living, overcoming negative self-talk, and finding the time to take care of yourself all while juggling countless other duties.

So today I’ll take it one step further out of my comfort zone and share a picture of me in my new swimsuit. Is my body perfect? No, I’m not striving for perfection. I’m a work in progress and I’m striving for progress each and every day. I work hard to be a good wife, mom and friend. I give it my everything during my own workouts and work just as hard to help my clients achieve better health.

I’m not perfect and the truth is, perfection is a figment of human imagination.

TOTALLY out of my comfort zone sharing this photo! It's about progress, because there's no such thing as perfection.

TOTALLY out of my comfort zone sharing this photo! It’s about progress, because there’s no such thing as perfection.

How to Take the First Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Just over a week ago I wrote about stepping out of my comfort zone and filming exercise videos. I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t like seeing myself on camera and I didn’t think they would be very effective.

Heading into the end of the second week of posting videos I’m not as hesitant. I still don’t love myself on camera but at least I don’t feel like throwing up at the thought of recording them. But more importantly I’m discovering that by posting them I’m opening dialog with others about exercise.

I’ve had the chance to encourage others in trying things they didn’t think was possible. Here’s one example that just made my night…

We're all capable of surprising ourselves.

We’re all capable of surprising ourselves.

I’m a personal trainer and group fitness instructor because I want to inspire and empower others. To do that I’m going to have to step outside my comfort zone because for many people, walking into a gym or even trying an at home workout is forcing them out of their comfort zone.

I encourage you to take that first step. The next step might still be uncomfortable but it’s worth it because I’m finding with each step it’s getting easier and bringing me a step closer to becoming a better me.

How to go from a Size 8 to a Size 2 the Right Way

How many of those absurd tag lines have you heard for the fad diets out there? The master cleanse, raw diet, the five bite diet, the cabbage soup diet, the list could go on and on.

But I’m not addressing the whole diet industry today. I’ll save that for another day but before moving on I want to make it clear – weight loss and maintenance requires an eating lifestyle, not a ‘diet.’

What I want to address today is the discrepancy in sizing of clothing, especially for women.

Picture this…you enter the fitting room with clothing only to find that you can’t get the jeans over your hips or the top you chose looks like you could fit two of you in it.

You double check the sizes and everything seems like it should fit. So you ask an associate to help you adjust the sizing, but still nothing fits right.

All the while you are critically staring at yourself in the mirror and creating a list of everything that’s wrong with your body.

So rather than returning home with some fun new items, you are discouraged more than ever.

It’s happened to me countless of times. In fact, I did go from a size 8 to a size 2 in one day…but it was all by shopping in my own closet.

How can two of my favorite pair of jeans be two different sizes?

How can two of my favorite pair of jeans be two different sizes?

I could rant on about the fashion industry and what they do to us by having such inconsistent sizing but that’s not going to do anyone any good.

With the season change upon us, many will be going shopping for some new things. So here are my tips for the next time you go shopping:

Recognize that size isn’t what matters, rather how it makes you feel.

I’ve talked about getting rid of my scale because I became entirely too attached to the number instead of how I felt about myself. The number went up and I beat myself up, the number went down and I was on top of the world. But the problem was prior to stepping on the scale I felt confident and happy with what I had done that week. So why did the number matter?

The same thing applies to clothes. Who cares what the size is? Does it look good on you? Does it make you feel confident? Does it make you want to make plans with friends so you can show it off? Those are the things that matter, not the size.

Accept that some styles will better suit your body than others.

The fact is we are all of different shapes and sizes and not every style will look good on you. It’s okay to take a risk and try it, but if it doesn’t compliment your figure you shouldn’t criticize yourself. Acknowledge that the style isn’t right for you because the same styles that ARE good for you, aren’t for others.

Shop with a friend.

We are always more critical of ourselves than we should be. Take a good friend shopping with you. First, it’s a lot more fun to shop with a friend than alone. But more importantly, your friend can offer you the honestly you need about what you are trying on. If you’re being too critical, they will be able to point that out, and conversely, if you need a reality check for what you’ve selected they will tell you that too!

Shop for the ‘YES’!

How many times have you walked in a store and just went straight for the clearance rack? I do it ALL the time. Over time what I’ve found is I have things in my closet that are ‘okay,’ but I don’t necessarily love them. So I’ve changed the way that I shop. Yes, I spend a little more, but now my closet isn’t cluttered with a bunch of so-so things.

So next time you go shopping, have fun with it. And if you need a shopping pal, let me know!

How do you improve? Step out of your comfort zone. That’s just what I did.

This past weekend I stepped entirely out of my comfort zone.

I felt like throwing up the entire time.

When was the last time you pushed past your comfort zone?

When was the last time you pushed past your comfort zone?

You see for months, my husband and others have been advising me to do online videos of exercises and post them.

I’ve resisted. I didn’t want to be on camera. I didn’t think the amount of time it would take me to film, edit and post would provide me a return on my investment.

But after attending a weekend fitness conference I realized that if I am going to grow my business, I have to be willing to step outside of my comfort zone and try new things.

So last weekend we filmed a series of 25 exercises, with the intention of posting 5 every day along with guidance on how to complete the workout.

Will my efforts pay off? Will people actually benefit from the videos? Will they not only benefit from them but see the value in attending my classes or hiring me as a trainer? It’s entirely too early to answer any of those questions.

But what I can tell you is I’m willing to take a chance, at least for a while, to see how this might help me grow as a person and as a trainer and instructor.

I’m passionate about health and fitness and for me to succeed I’m going to have to be willing to take a risk.

So I ask you, what are you passionate about? What risks are you willing to take to be successful?

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If a 92-year-old Can Follow His Passion, What’s Stopping You?

I don’t know about you but I like FaceBook because it helps me to keep up with friends and family from afar. I get to follow people who I don’t know but inspire me and watch some really funny videos that I probably would never come across on my own.

Lately, my feed has been filled with endless opinions on politics. Don’t get me wrong…I think everyone has their right to share their opinion and make a case for the things they believe in but I’m getting worn down by negativity.

I appreciate the passion, I just wish it was directed in a more positive way. Let’s stop talking about how much we dislike what this person is doing and what they stand for and let’s talk more about the person we support and the great things they do. Right?

So last night I was taken with a post on FaceBook about one of my dear friend’s husbands. Jeremy walked 7 miles with Ernie Andrus, a WWII veteran who is walking coast to coast to raise money to take a LST ship to Normandy for the 75th anniversary of D-Day.

92 Year Old Inspiring Others

Here is a man, 92-years-old. And he’s passionate and living life without excuses! He’s determined to raise awareness to his cause and isn’t letting anything stand in his way.

How many of us use the excuse that we can’t because of _______________ (you fill in the blank).

How many of us spend more time focusing on the negative rather than the positive?

How many of us need a change of heart and mind?

It’s time to change your heart and your mind. Goodbye excuses, goodbye negativity. HELLO to I CAN DO attitude.

Do what you can, where you are at. Don’t compare your abilities to anyone else.Every day brings progress, every day you are stronger and capable of more.

If a 92-year-old can walk coast to coast, surely you can dig within you to find something to be passionate about and go get it.

If you would like to donate or meet up to walk/run with him, here’s his website coast2coastruns.com.

 

A Better Me. A Better You.

Most weekdays the alarm is going off at 5am. Not because I’m a morning person, but because I have a commitment to my classes and clients.

How can I make you better? Not by changing you, but supporting you where you are?

How can I make you better? Not by changing you, but supporting you where you are, and encouraging you to keep going?

I was fortunate enough to sleep in this morning. I woke up refreshed with a big, but simple thought…

  1. What are you going to do today to make yourself a better person and
  2. What can you do for someone else

Today I’m going to take time to read ‘The Gifts of Imperfection.’ I have only just started reading this book, but I highly recommend it. I’m committed to taking my time digesting this book because I think it has the potential to grow me in so many ways.

And today, I’m going to genuinely compliment every person I encounter. I want them to feel appreciated for the person they are today. Sure, there might be changes that they are wanting for their lives, things they wish were different and I might want those things for them too. But more importantly than pushing for the change, I want them to feel empowered to face today and tomorrow knowing they are capable of achieving those things because they are unique and wonderfully made.

What can you do today to improve yourself and to encourage someone else?